


Filtration

by NoahxDingle



Category: Emmerdale, vanity - Fandom
Genre: Chronic Kidney Disease, Emmerdale - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Family, Kidney failure, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27565474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoahxDingle/pseuds/NoahxDingle
Summary: This is what happened between Noah and charity when Vanessa left and their struggles.Noah got chronic Kidney disease from the drugs at Christmas, but it hasn’t been mentions since. I also think Noah needs a storyline cause I really enjoyed his storyline last year.Will vanity reunite, or will they not.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Noah Tate, Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 17
Kudos: 31





	1. Ceased to exist

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter is kinda just a summary next chapter you will see arguments

The past 4 months have been hard. When Vanessa left everything got harder especially for Noah, he felt just as alone as he did when he moved into the woolpack, when mum got out of prison, he’d been getting into fights in school as he was made fun of because he lost yet again another step parent “told you they wouldn’t last noah”. “Awwwww is Noah sad that he lost another step parent” “Has your mum went back to being a drunk again” “who do you reckon she’ll have next hey, what about your neighbour, wait is he rich or not” people ranted at him as soon as people in school found out about the whole thing. 

Noah’s life completely changed he went back to having to walk home from footie, looking after Moses most of the time, he missed out on hospital appointments in-fact he hasnt been to one since Vanessa left and he needed an adult with him. 

The Dingles hadn’t really helped at all, not like they did when Robert got put behind bars.

Noah just ceased to exist again like he did before and for him and his mum, they went back to not talking much anymore, she didn’t see or thank him for half the shit she does for her, if he wasn’t there they would have probably taken Moses off her by now. Every night after she had finished getting piss faced he’d stay up until she was asleep, put a blanket around her and clean up the vomit, he’d sleep in Moses room so he wouldn’t see her piss faced, he’d look after Moses and walk him to school every morning before he made his way to hotten academy. He had also walked in on her semi naked on the bathroom floor in her own sick, so he had to clean her up.

But most of all they had been fighting all the time, that’s why they just don’t talk anymore, can’t deal with the extra fuss, cause that’s all he was right?


	2. I hate you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah and charity arguing

“Will you just leave me alone, I’m having a drink, IS A WOMAN NOT ALLOWED A FUCKING DRINK IN HER OWN HOUSE” Charity bellowed at Noah  
“NO, not when that woman has been drinking for the past four months straight without a care in the world for her FUCKING CHILDREN”  
“ExCusE Me, I am your mother you do not shout at me like that, OR TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO”  
Noah took a deep breath  
“I should have went up to Scotland with Sarah you know that, instead of looking at you all day looking sorry for yourself”  
“Well you know what Noah, if you hate it so much, then get the fuck out”  
“You know what mum you’ve said that before, but I’m not going anywhere”  
“Why not, I could do fine with out you”  
Noah stares at Charity in disbelief in what she just said  
“Seriously you could do fine” there was a long pause  
“Oh my fucking god mum do you not see what I’ve been doing for you, I’ve been looking after Moses bringing him to school dressing him, you know all the things parents should do and on top of that I’ve been looking after you....MY MUM”  
“Oh Noah your so fucking brill aren’t ya, do you want a golden sticker, what would I do without ya if I just left you with Zoe I’d have saved myself a lot of bother, I have to say tho Zoe was really generous with you ,10 GRAND HUH, I WOULDN’T HAVE GAVE 1”  
Noah felt a lump grow in his throat or like a brick had been dropped straight through him.  
“You don’t mean that your just drunk” Noah said almost in tears.  
“Oh I fucking do Noah, how do you think I felt having to drag a child with me through out everything I did, Moses is different, he has a dad I could dump him on Ross when I wanted, but with you, you hadn’t even grown toes and he’d topped himself.”  
“ how do i think you felt, how do you think I felt, having a new step parent every five seconds, getting bullied in school because nobody in the fucking world gave a flying fuck about me, that my mum was a jail bird and a slag”  
Charity looks at Noah, she looks angry. In that second Charity grabs the wine bottle beside her and throws it at Noah, but it misses she’s so pissed face she couldn’t even throw something at him a metre away.

“GET OUT YOU LITTLE SHIT”  
“Fine didn’t want to be here anyway”  
Noah grabs charity’s car keys off the counter and storms out of jacobs fold, he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes, he can hear his heartbeat in his ears.

He wasn’t great at driving, but he had gotten lessons lately that Chas paid for.

Noah started the engine and drove off, as fast as he could, oh how he just wanted to drive and not stop until he hit a brick wall, but suddenly Noah stopped the engine just at the gates if one of Moiras fields . The fierce pain in his sides were aching, he knew what is was but had just chose to ignore it, his kidneys. He hadn’t been to appointments or keeping up to date with his medication and yes he was always tired, feeling light headed and sometimes fainting, had been getting severe pains in his sides, he’d just always fought through and he just thought the tiredness was cause he was normally staying up all night. Noah started the engine again and made a decision to drive where he always went the quarry. 

He had been there quite a lot lately, that was where him and joe had a heart to heart, he also like the view and the feeling that he could just tip himself off the edge at any moment. Probably not the best place to go for someone that feels faint all the time, but it made him happy, just like joe did.


	3. The black, thick liquid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Charity felt after the row

Charity sat there on the sofa staring at the poisonous liquid at the bottom of the glass.   
She didn’t really mean what she said to Noah, it was just in the heat of the moment. If the ground could have opened up and swallowed her then would be that moment, she didn’t want to be here in this world, well at least not without Vanessa she didn’t.

Oh how bad she felt, she’d always took Noah’s presence for granted. He was the first child she brought up since birth and everyday she saw more of herself in him even Vanessa used to say it. He was so similar but different at the same time. Noah had a heart at 16, but charity’s was shattered and broken so many times at that age. In a way they both had to grow up quick I mean Noah was self sufficient at 5. Charity laughs to herself, thinking about the times when Noah was younger, they had the best bond. He wasn’t old enough at that stage to understand feelings and things and when they left the village for about 2 years it was just the two of them, she didn’t have a baby sitter so she brought Noah out with her sometimes, anyone would call her a bad parent, but to be honest Noah could have slept anywhere. She Vowed she wouldn’t damage Noah as she did Debbie, so long for that plan.

Just as she was taking another sip of the poisonous liquid chas came through the door, “what’s wrong with your Noah, he just came through the woolpack in a huff and is currently watching some shitty thing on tv.” Chas stared at Charity waiting for a response  
“chas don’t start”  
“Why not, you two haven’t had another argument have you”   
“what do you think Chas” chas took a deep breath “Charity this has to stop, after all that progress you two made last year after the drugs thing”   
“Look chas I know ok, I just said some things I shouldn’t have said, I didn’t mean it, they just came out in the heat of the moment” Charity felt her eyes well with tears   
“Ryt, but you need to talk to him”  
“I’m hardly in the state for that, look at me I’m bladdered”   
“Not now, tomorrow maybe, let him cool down and you get sobered up”  
Chas walks over to the kitchen and looks at the large pile of letters on the counter.  
“What’s all this”  
“How would I know, I haven’t looked near the post in months”  
“Charity”  
“What”  
“You do realise that a large majority of the letters here are from the hospital, about Noah”  
Shit, shit , shit she had completely forgot about Noah’s appointments. So what did she do, she came up with the quickest excuse she could, she didn’t want chas hovering over her anymore that she already was.  
“Oh, yeah don’t worry about them, Manpreet gives him check ups now”  
“ oh ryt, ok” chas said, but she didn’t sound completely sure Charity was telling the truth  
“Well Noah reckons he’s staying at the woolpack tonight, will I send him home or”  
“No, I’ll get sober tomorrow and pick him up from school early tomorrow, as a surprise”  
“Well I hope you mean that, cause if you keep acting like this you will lose him”  
Chas left Charity to get sober, although it’s a lot easier said than done.  
Before Charity knew it she was back sipping a Vodka bottle.


	4. You think at night

Noah lay there in his old bedroom, I mean it was practically a cupboard but it was still his room, Chas and Paddy didn’t really change it when he moved, his desk, wardrobe and bed was still there, the walls were still grey and his lights where still up.

He kept thinking and thinking again what his mum said, but he just told himself she was drunk and didnt mean it, chas also said that when she went to see her she felt terrible about it. 

But the pain in his sides were mostly blocking out the thoughts, he was freezing but was sweating like mad, he felt shaky and nauseous.

It was 4:45 am, it was too early to get up but too late to go to sleep even though he felt like he could sleep for an army. So he went downstairs, made a cuppa and sat in the dark just thinking about nothing.

Then he woke up with Chas pouring water on his head, he sprung up as Chas laughed   
“ Jesus what does it take for you to wake up, I was practically shouting at you”   
Noah just sat there, the pain in his sides had travelled to his stomach as well he felt weaker than he did last night , but he just took a paracetamol, mum said she would pick him up from school early anyway and he was off yesterday and didn’t really want mum dealing with a fine on top of everything since he had been off quite a lot lately, everything felt like a fever dream, he was soaking though he couldn’t tell if it was from the water or him sweating, but he was sticky and he felt horrible. It was 7:00 he got the bus at 7:30 so thank fuck he had time to take a shower, he actually intended to go see mum, see if she made any attempt at sobering up but it was too late, only time will tell.

“You alright love, you look a bit peaky” chas asked actually concerned for her nephew  
“Yeah I’m fine just didn’t sleep much last night, I’m just gonna go get a shower”  
“Yeah, you look and smell like you need it”   
Noah give a faint smile and he went up the stairs

He got into the shower and turned it right the way round to cold, he needed something to wake him up and this was all he could think.  
He sat on the shower tray and the water fell on him, each freezing cold drop at a time.

He quickly got dressed after feeling a bit revived after the shower although he was still sweating and fucking freezing.


	5. Headaches from hell

Charity lay in bed, hugging ness’ pillow staring out the window at the sky, she never washed it although the smell of ness was already gone. she’d stopped drinking a bit earlier last night, how, still she has to find out.  
She has a bit of a hangover, but not half as bad as other mornings. All she wanted was ness, her tiny blonde rocket woman, the keeper of her heart, her   
“Hello, anybody home” Charity heard chas shout from downstairs   
“Up here babe”  
Chas entered Charity’s room, looking at the mess her cousin was in   
“How you feeling now”  
“Like someone shoved my head in a mixer”   
“Shit, really that bad”  
“Well yes and no, I did stop drinking a bit earlier last night, so I’m having a baby hang over at the moment”   
“ well if it isn’t that bad you can get your lazy backside up and you can work a shift until you are gonna pick up Noah, then you can have the afternoon off and spend time with him”  
“You know I was actually about to get another bottle last night babe, but I stopped myself by handcuffing myself to the bed”  
Chas stopped and looked at her  
“You what”   
“Look babe could you get that key on my dresser and break me free cause my arm is serious sore here”  
Chas looked at Charity and laughed  
“Ya know most people go to rehab or something, but Charity dingle handcuffs herself to her bed. why do you even have hand cuffs?”  
“Use your imagination chas, although I haven’t really gotten the chance to play with them in a while, since Vanessa my play mate is gone”  
“Charity dingle you dirty bitch” chas laughed while she un did Charity’s handcuffs.   
————————————————————————————

Charity your only half way through a shift, and youve already necked a bottle of wine  
“Well that’s your fault”  
“What, Charity how is this my fault”  
“You should have know better than to let a drunk work a shift in a pub, ha dumb bitch” Charity slurred to chas  
“I will go and get then handcuffs and tie you too a radiator if your not careful”  
“Go on then, do your worst”  
Chas grabs Charity’s wrist drags her through to the bathroom and sticks her head under the shower head  
“Ahhhhhhh” Charity moans  
“I will do this until you sober up”  
“Noooo stop, please, stop” Charity cries  
Chas pulls charity’s head from the water and sits on the now soaking ground with her cousin.  
“Charity”  
Charity looks up with tears in her eyes  
“I miss her chas, I miss her so much, I just can’t live without her”   
“You can charity”  
“No I can’t, look at the state of me, I just wanna hold my tiny blonde rocket woman again, hold her in my arms and tell her everything is gonna be alright”   
“Yeah, well you need to do that for Noah, cause ryt now he needs you most, Charity look at me babe. You need to talk to Noah or things are only gonna get worst for both of you.”  
“ I know chas ok, I know, but look at me I can hardly drive now”  
“I’ll get Cain to pick him up, don’t worry, I think he is going out by hotten today anyway”  
“Thanks ba—“  
Charity is cut off but her phone, it’s hotten academy  
“Just ignore it, they are probably calling asking why Noah was off yesterday, don’t worry” Charity says as chas grabs her cousins phone   
“Well I do worry. Hi Charity dingle speaking”  
“Hi we are calling to inform you that Noah had been sick during class and that you pick him up”  
Chas sighs  
“Yep will do, although it might be his uncle cain dingle as I am un able to drive at the moment”  
“That is fine, see you then”

“Noah’s been sick, I’ll call Cain to pick him now, now when I think about it he did look sick this morning”  
“Okay babe, help be up here, I don’t really have to energy at the moment” Charity said as she lifted her arms up to chas  
“Ryt let’s get you a cuppa and we can have a proper good old bitch while I watch the bar”


	6. Blurred

“Right what, time cause I’m on my way back to emmerdale, now and I’m not going back into hotten again” Cain says  
“Now, right ok I’ll probably be about 2 minutes”  
Cain hangs up the phone as he makes his way to hotten academy.

“Hello, I’m Cain dingle, I’m here to pick up Noah dingle”  
“Yes I’ll just go get him now, sign here for me please” the reception said  
“Tell him I’ll be in the car”

Noah felt like shit, everything was blurred and muffled, he was scared he wasn’t gonna make it to the car, he felt weak, tired and dizzy, with throbbing pains. He still tasted the sick in his mouth, even tho all he puked up was the tea from the night before. It was almost like there was weights on his head pulling him closer to the ground.  
“Thank fuck” Noah whispered to himself as he made it to the car.

“Jesus Christ Noah, you alright” as Cain looked at his nephew, all the colour was drained from Noah’s face, he was paper white, lips and all.

“No not really, just bring me home, I’ll sleep it off like I always do” Noah said breathlessly  
“Are you sure you don’t want me to bring you to the hospital or sommat”  
“No cain, just drive” Noah was sweating like mad, but he was freezing, the pain was unbearable, like knives where sticking into his sides, he felt like he was spinning and all he heard was mumbling. He was sinking deeper and deeper into a black hole, as he fell in and out of consciousness.

“Noah, Noah mate”   
Noah just groaned at Cain.   
They were a minute away from the village now, and about 20 mins away from hotten general, and Dr Cavannagh could check him out, there wasn’t any point turning back now.   
“Noah, you just need to stay conscious mate, Noah”  
Cain gives him a tap on the face to keep him conscious, but he was still just drifting in and out of it.

Cain pulls the car up beside the woolpack, nearly going through the front door in the mean time.  
Cain hops out of the car and runs to Noah’s side.   
“Noah your gonna be fine”  
He grabs one of Noah’s arms and lifts him out of the car, Noah being just about awake enough to be able to just about move his legs, with the help of Cain obviously.

“CHAS, CHAS! COME HERE NOW AND HELP ME”  
Chas saw Cain dragging Noah over one shoulder, his barely conscious body.  
“Omg what’s wrong with him”  
“Look I don’t know just help me too the back”  
But as chas was about to grab Noah’s other arm when he fell to the ground shaking.

Noah felt his soul leave his body, all he heard was mumbling and grumbling and he felt himself shaking, before sinking into the floor and then black, nothing.

“NOAH” Charity came running into the pub  
“What’s wrong with him” Charity asked  
“He’s having a seizure Charity, CALL AN AMBULANCE SOMEONE!!!” Cain shouted and get Liam or manpreet, just someone. 

What, Charity thought in her head, looking for a simple explanation, why this could be happening. Has he taken drugs again, was he drinking, what could be wrong and then it came to her. His kidneys, Noah’s doctor said that seizures could happen if his kidneys were failing, but that was on level 5, Noah was only on level 2 chronic kidney disease. 

“charity, stop day dreaming and try hold him still”  
Charity held her sons head as she felt each shake go through her body as well and Noah’s.

After about 5 long minutes Noah finally stopped seizing, but he just lay there in the ground, his life less body, chas feels his pulse and checks his breathing  
“Omg, his pulse is slowing down, and his breathing is very slow”   
“He’ll wake up yeah” Charity cries and she feels a giant lump in her throat  
“I don’t fucking know Charity, I’m not a doctor” chas spits at her  
The tears are now running down Charity’s face, when she hears the ambulance.

“Hello, now what has happened here” a man says while checking Noah   
“Well we got a call from the school that he’d vomited, and that, I had to pick him up, he was going in and out of consciousness in the car and then he had a seizure”  
Cain says  
“How long was he seizing for”  
“About five minutes”   
“Right ok, Does he have any illness that you already know off”  
“Umm yeah he has level 2, chronic kidney disease”   
The man looks at his co worker with a concerned look as they put Noah on the stretcher  
“Ok, is his parents present at the moment”  
“I’m his mum”  
“Ok would you like to come with us”   
“I’ll go too chas says following Charity to the ambulance”


	7. The hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah gets diagnosed

“Right I’ll go to the hospital with him” Cain said 

“Wait no, I’m his mother” Charity said 

“Yeah well maybe if you acted like his mother he wouldn’t be in this situation, because by the way your talking you think it’s his kidneys” Cain said

Charity just stood there staring at Cain, she wanted to burst into tears 

“Cain that’s enough, to be fare Charity, Cain would be the better person to go, for a start he’s not bladdered and he doesn’t have to be working right now” chas said 

“Yeah maybe your right babe” Charity said 

“But keep me updated yeah”

“Ok”

Cain rushed out of the pub  
————————————————————————————  
“Hello, I’m here for Noah Dingle, he was brought in about 20 mins ago”

“Yes, he’s in the ICU unit”

“Wait, intensive care, why”

“You’ll have to talk that over with his doctor about that”

“Can I see him now”

“No you’ll have to wait in the waiting area, as they are still running tests”

“Ok”

Cain sat down and called chas 

“Have you seen his yet”

“No they are still running tests, he’s in ICU chas”

“Ya what, but he was still breathing”

“Yeah, I’m starting think this is more serious than we think”

“Will I tell Charity”

“No, not yet, she’ll just worry and probably pick up the bottle again, Noah needs her sober”

“Well I was thinking off phoning Debbie”

“Why” Cain questioned

“Well, I just thought, Noah and Sarah are basically like brother and sister, when Sarah was in hospital he came everyday after school to see her, they also haven’t seen eachother in a while”

“Yeah it’s a nice thought chas but it’s hardly a 5 minute run from Scotland to hotten general”

“Well I’ll text Debbie and leave it up to Sarah”

“Ok Chas I’ll have to go here, the doctors coming towards me”

“Right keep me updated, bye”

“Are you Cain Dingle” the doctor said 

“Yeah, how is he”

“We currently have Noah in intensive care”

“Yeah and”

“Well there isn’t really an easy way to say this but his old kidneys are failing and are at 7% working condition”

“So what does that mean at the moment” 

“Well we can’t give Noah a transplant at the moment as he is too weak and due to corona it’s a dangerous thing to do since if he contracted corona it would kill him, the hospital is a really dangerous place to be at the moment for someone with kidney problems in general never mind failing kidneys”

“Do what are you gonna do”

“We are gonna connect him to a hemodialysis machine”

“What’s that”

“A pump in the hemodialysis machine slowly draws out your blood, then sends it through another machine called a dialyzer. This works like a kidney and filters out extra salt, waste, and fluid. Your cleaned blood is sent back into your body through the second needle in your arm.”

“In English please”

“It’s a machine in which works as a filter and gets rid of all the toxic waste in your body, your are connected to it for 4 hours 3 times a week. Noah will have to make changes to his diet and his medication will be increased”

“So why is he in intensive care”

“Noah came in with a weak pulse and was really struggling to breath l, we are keeping him in intensive care until he wakes up, which should be too long, what we are wondering is why Noah hasn’t been to any appointments in months”

“Well there has been a lot of family problems lately and it kinda just slipped out of our minds”

“Are you his father”

“No, I’m his uncle, his dads dead”

“So where’s his mother”

“She, she is at work at the moment, I just haven’t gotten time to contact her yet”

“Well I would advise Ms dingle to get here now cause I would like to speak to her myself”

“Ok thank you doctor, can I see him now”

“Yes, we are hoping that he will wake up in the next hour or so”

“Ok thank you doctor”

Cain made his way to Noah’s room, picking up his phone at the same time to call chas 

He walked into the room and saw Noah, connected to wires, machines tubes 

“Hi chas, yeah it’s not good news”

“Oh shit, what did they say”

“His kidneys are failing, at 7% function and they say it will get worse from here”

“Well can’t they do a transplant”

“Apparently not, because of COVID and if he caught it, it would kill him, so they are putting him on dialysis”

“What’s that”

“It’s a machine that he is connected to for 4 hours 3 times a week”

“Jesus”

“Yeah, but I was also searching up and there is a home dialysis thing and it’s where you are connected to it for 30 mins 4 times a day”

“So what do I tell Charity cause she’s getting suspicious” 

“You’ll have to bring her to the hospital”

“What, Cain do you really think that’s the best idea”

“Look the doctor wants to talk to her and I think it’s important”

“Well she is a bit more sober”

“Yeah well talk to her cause Noah needs her”

“Ryt I’ll see what I can do babe”


	8. The guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chas talks to charity

Chas walks into the back were Charity is sitting

“Hiya love, you alright” chas says

Charity doesn’t answer, she feels terrible, how could she not realise

“How is he”

“So I’m guessing you heard me call Cain” 

“Yeah, yeah I also heard that yous where keeping things from me, so chas what’s that all about” Charity was raging she felt the anger source through her she could of killed chas

“Babe I was just trying to get the facts before I told you, we thought it was for the best”

“Oh yeah cause I’ll just grab a bottle won’t I”

“Charity it’s not like that and you know it’s not, Noah needs you sober not pissed out of your mind, like you have been the past four months”

Charity felt a lump form in her throat, tears roll down her face, she didn’t mean to hurt Noah all she was thinking about was her and ness, new had helped her through so much she didn’t think she could cope with out her,

“Well I’m sorry chas the love of my life left me and things have been hard ok”

“Yeah, well they have also been hard on Noah, he lost yet another step parent, and you saw how much Vanessa had changed that boy, I’d never seen him so happy, but when she left he was hurting too, but he just had to carry on and had to do your job aswell as his own.”

Charity just sat there and broke down in tears 

“I don’t know what to do chas”

“Maybe you could wipe away your tears, we can sit down and I can tell you what Cain told me”

“Right, okay okay” Charity took a deep breath and wiped away her tears 

“Ok so it’s not good news”

“Oh shit” Charity felt sick 

“Charity listen, Noah’s kidneys have failed, they are only working at 7% and he’s currently in intensive care, they can’t do a transplant at the moment due to COVID but it is something they will look at in the future”

Charity’s heart fell to her feet, how did she not notice, she had been told over and over things that would happen if his kidneys failed 

“So what are they gonna do”

“They are gonna put him on dialysis, do you know what that is”

“Yeah, Vanessa told me, when he had an overdose what would happen if his kidneys failed, the doctors also give me leaflets when he had appointments”

“Wait so you knew what could have happened if he didn’t be careful”

“Well obviously, they do warn people with kidney problems what could happen”

“And you didn’t think to maybe keep an eye on him and when I asked you about the letters you said manprert was checking him over now” 

“Look Chas, I said that cause I didn’t want you on my back”

“Look Charity I’m not arguing right now cause your son is lying in a bed dying, so you need to get to the hospital and be there for him”

“Wait I thought I wasn’t good enough to go to the hospital like this”

“ no Charity that’s cause you were bladdered and to be honest Cain and I still don’t think you should go but the doctor wants to talk to you and they think it’s pretty urgent”

“So what will I do, drive myself” 

“No, I’ll drive you, but when you get home I’ll be having words with you”


	9. Turn for the worst

Chas closed the pub for the evening, not that there was many punters in there anyway.

They made they're way to the hospital, the hole car ride Charity felt sick to her teeth, she couldn’t believe that her little boy was so sick, and it hurt her to think that if she showed him love and care then he wouldn’t even have kidney problems in the first place cause he wouldn’t have taken the drugs,

“I called Debbie a couple of hours ago” Chas said

“Oh, what to tell her what a rubbish mum I am”

“No, to tell her that her little brother was in hospital and ask her if Sarah wanted to come and see him, ya know since they are like brother and sister, Noah did see her everyday after school when she was in the hospital”

“Oh yeah obviously”

“Yeah not everything’s about you Charity, this is about noah”

“Ok Chas I get, my heads just messed up ok”

“Yeah I can tell that, but you need to get it cleared ok, cause if the doctors suspect something they could contact social services”

——————————————————————————

The journey to the hospital felt longer than it should of but they finally got there. 

“Hiya we are here to see Noah dingle, I’m chas dingle and this is charity dingle”

“Well there is a man already in with Noah and only two people are allowed to go into the room at a time, but you can stay in the waiting area if you like but if his mother could stay the doctor would like to speak to you”

“Ok I’ll go home, keep me updated yeah babe” chas said as she walked away

“Ok babe, will do”

“Are you Charity” the doctor said as she walked toward her”

“Well I have been talking to Cain and I’m sure he’s told you everything”

“Yeah, so what did you want to talk to me about cause Cain seemed to think it was urgent”

“Well obviously Noah’s in a bad way and will be in hospital for a while, but I want to also talk to you about something we found when we were putting the wires in him and hooking him up to the machines”

“Go on then”

“Well we found lots of cuts on his stomach and chest, obviously done on purpose”

“What so you think he’s been self harming” Charity felt like she was gonna collapse the kidney failure was enough but this shook her right up

“Yeah and this is starting to make us think that his previous drug overdose wasn’t a mistake as we did find scars on him then but they had been healing so we presumed that the family already knew”

“Sorry, your basically saying that you had noticed this before but didn’t say anything”

“Well yes, we just thought that you already knew about it”

“Well I didn’t ok, believe it or not noah and I don’t get on very well, not since I got out of prison”

“So there is a problem at home, cause if so we need to know about it so we can help Noah”

“Look my fiancé broke up with me about 4 months ago and I haven’t really had time for him because I’ve been getting shit faced drunk everyday and he’s been looking after my 5 year old child” charity froze while the doctor looked at her, this didn’t help her case cause she just gave him a reason to contact social services, hid alcohol is a bitch

“Did you turned to alcohol”

“No ok, look I didn’t mean that and the last time I checked you were a doctor not a therapist”

“Ok I’ll bring that matter up later, but I need to also talk about Noah’s current state”

“Ok go on then”

“Well from the last time we seen Noah he’s lost a considerable amount of weight, Noah was already naturally thin but this is way too under weight for a 16 yr old that’s 5’11”

“Well how much has he lost”

“The last time we saw him he was 11 stone and now he is 8 stone which is the average weight for an 12 year old of 5’3 foot in height”

“Holy fuck” Charity whispered to herself, like she’d notice he’d looked a lot thinner and his clothes where hanging off him, but she didn’t think he’d lost that much

“Can I see him please and I’ll talk this all over later it’s you again when he wakes up” 

“Of course, I’ll just need you to change your clothes into this” he handed charity a gown and a mask

“We don’t want him to catch anything”

——————————————————————————  
Charity walked in, Cain was sitting on a chair beside his bed, she look at Noah, his face was paper white, under his eyes were red, his frail body was just lying there with wires and tubes everywhere.

“The doctor said he should be waking up soon about 3 hours ago”

“Yeah well he’s weak isn’t he” 

“Yeah well he wouldn’t be if you showed any love towards him for five minutes”

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just say that”

There was a long silence Charity felt the tears run down her face as she took Noah’s hand.

Cain finally broke the silence 

“So..... what where they talking to you about they couldn’t tell me”

Charity was contemplating on whether to tell him or not what the doctor said

“Oh just about, the missed appointments and the fact I that he’d lost a lot of weight”

“Well I could have told you that myself, come on then and the rest” Cain snapped 

“The rest of what”

“The rest of what the doctor said, I wasn’t born yesterday”

Charity felt the lump in her throat again 

“They think, they think he’s been self harming, they found cuts in his stomach and his chest”

“Ya what”

“Look Cain I really don’t need you shouting at me right now”

“I’m not ok” 

“Yeah well don’t alright cause my day couldn’t get any-“

“Charity”

“Shittier”

“Charity, shut up, I think he just moved”

Charity looks at Noah,

“There he just flickered his eyelids”

“That’s right love you just take your time”

BEEP...BEEP...BEEP

charity’s eyes are narrowed at the machine,

“Hold on what’s going on”

Charity is cut off when nurses storm into the room

“Everyone out now” a nurse said as she pushed Charity out of the way

“Everyone out now please” 

Cain and Charity are pushed out of the room 

“What’s wrong with him, Cain Cain what’s wrong with him” the tears were running down her face as she put her hands around Cain

“Look I don’t know it’s probably just a little turn, he’ll be alright Charity, he’s a fighter”

“I need a bottle, I need to calm my nerves”

Cain grabs Charity’s wrists

“No Charity, what you need is to be here for your son”

A woman runs into the waiting area dragging a small child behind her and goes to the desk

“I’m here for Noah dingle please”

“You’ll have to wait in the waiting area as there is already two people in with him”

“Ok thank you”

Charity freezes when she realises who it is, the same feeling when she left her 

“Vanessa” Charity gasps 

“Charity”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave comments of what you think, will Vanessa give Charity a second chance


	10. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity and Vanessa talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment what you think as it would really help me, I’m trying to balance Noah being sick and vanity still being in love with eachother at the same time xx

Charity walks over to Vanessa her heart was in her mouth, she couldn’t handle an argument right now 

“What are you doing here” Charity asked

“Here to see my son, believe it or not I care about him”

“Oh so now you want to play the caring parent”

“Charity, I could have been the caring parent to him, if you didn’t go off and kiss a randomer”

“Look babe I was in a bad place and it didn’t even mean anything”

“Anyway I’m not here to have an argument at the moment, I’m here to see Noah”

“Wait a minute how do you even know” Charity questions 

“Chas phoned, she explained everything Charity, you drinking, Noah looking after Moses, him wanting to join the army, the burglaring at home farm, him going off the rails and his kidneys failing”

Charity was fuming, chas had no right to tell ness all that stuff before she had time to explain herself 

“I was lost without you ness, I couldn’t cope, alcohol was the best coping mechanism”

“Well your little coping mechanism could cause your son his life, Charity, I’ve seen the changes in that boy and he’s a good lad at heart, he doesn’t deserve any of this”

Charity paused and looked at Johnny, come here little man as he ran for a hug

“Anyway is he awake yet”Vanessa asked

“Well we thought he was waking up but then something went wrong, we don’t know what yet as it just happened, we were shoved out of the room” Cain said 

“Ms Dingle” the doctor said while walking towards them

“Noah had another seizure, but we have been able stabilise him again”

“Wait why did he have another seizure, you said he should’ve woken up soon” Charity asked 

“We did have our concerns when he didn’t wake up hours ago”

“And you didn’t say anything” Vanessa butted in

“We weren’t completely sure at that point, we just thought cause he was very weak that it took him that bit longer”

“Well can we see him now, is he awake” Vanessa asked

“he’s still in intensive care but you can see him”

“Ok thank you”

“Who are may I ask” the doctor asked Vanessa 

“Oh I’m Vanessa, Noah’s step mum”

“Well I’m afraid we can only have two people at a time”

“I could go home and I could bring Johnny to Tracy’s if you didn’t mind Vanessa, give you and Charity time to talk about stuff” Cain suggested 

Vanessa hesitated 

“It would be a shame if you came all this way, and I think it would give him something to smile about if he woke up and saw you” Cain said 

“Ummm, umm ok yeah that sounds fine, but make sure to drop him off with Tracy, I’ll be texting her to make sure” Vanessa said 

“Well I’m hardly gonna kidnap him”

Charity could have kissed Cain right now she was so happy 

Vanessa gave Johnny a kiss and said her goodbyes and so did Charity. 

“He’s grown since I last saw him” Charity said 

“Yeah well a lot can happen in four months can’t it, nearly five now and a week or so”

“Sorry I didn’t quit catch you name” the doctor said 

“Vanessa, Vanessa woodfield”

“Ok sign your name here and I’ll go get you a gown”

“Ok thank you”

——————-

Vanessa walked into to room were she saw Noah, he looked worse that he did when he had the overdose, she felt terrible for leaving him and she feels like it’s partly her fault, even though she just did what anybody would do if they found out they’re partner was cheating.

“He’s lost a lot of weight, not that there was much to lose in the first place, he was always a skinny wee runt, I was always jealous that he could eat whatever he wanted and not gain anything at all” Vanessa said to lighten the mood 

Charity looks at his chest as his gown was taken off to adjust his wires and tubes

“Omg Noah you’ve cut yourself to shreds pet” she felt like running to the nearest pub and drowning her sorrows in cheap alcohol 

“Wait he has been self harming” Vanessa asks

“Look I only just found out, this is the first time I’ve seen it” charity says as her voice has went croaky 

Charity runs her fingers through his curly blonde hair, that was untamed due to the hospitalisation

As Vanessa sat in disbelief as she stared at the deep cuts scared in his chest and stomach.

“So what’s been going on charity, I want to hear your side of the story too” 

“Look Ness, can we discuss this maybe when he’s woke up cause I am wrecked and I just don’t have the energy, all I’m focused on is Noah right now and I know it’s all my fault he’s here in the first place, but I have been told enough today, I can’t have anymore heartbreak in one day”

It was all silent 

“I’ve missed you” Vanessa breaks the silent 

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner I might have stopped drinking” charity’s low attempt of sarcasm 

“Are you an alcoholic Charity” Vanessa blurted out

“What no way, I just took a fancy to drink for a while”

“Well chas seemed to think you had a problem”

“Well I’ve now got a problem with chas, since she spilled my box of secrets before I got to explain them to you myself” 

It was so awkward Ness had never felt this awkward with Charity, there was so much to talk about, but she still didn’t know what to say, she had warned herself not to start an argument in the hospital and everything that had happened bound to start an argument, so she just sat there, in silence staring at the clock, time always goes by funny in the hospital.

Charity ran her fingers down Noah’s scars 

The silence had been going on for at least an hour by this point, and Charity had been keeping chas, Debbie, Cain and Sarah updated on the situation.

Debbie and Sarah had decided to come down and see Noah, while zach looked after Jack.

“They are deep aren’t they” Vanessa said once again breaking the silence 

“Thought you where asleep”

“Well I was more of just dosing in and out, can’t really sleep properly”

“Me and all”

“I just can’t believe I let it get to this extent ness”

“Not trying to sound like a know it all Charity, but did you not notice, he was sick cause it’s pretty visible things like vomiting, fatigue, weak, no appetite, red under eyes, pale you know what the symptoms are anyway, you’ve been told by doctors”

“ ya know what ness, I’m just gonna tell you how things have been”

Vanessa was nervous, she wanted to know but didn’t at the same time as she knew it would make things a hell of a lot worse

“Noah’s been doing everything that a parent usually would do, he’s been looking after Moses, making him food, getting him dressed, getting him washed, bring him to school, putting him to bed ya know all the things a mother should, on top of that he’s been looking after his drunk of a mother, he’d stay up late until I fell asleep and putting me to bed just to make sure I didn’t choke on my vomit, he’s had to lift me up from the bathroom floor while I’m in my bra and pants dress me and clean up my vomit, he’d do the tidying up, he didn’t worry about himself, just me and Moses, obviously you can tell he wasn’t eating properly, wasn’t sleeping properly and wasn’t going to his appointments”   
Charity was in tears by the end of it, she couldn’t believe what she’d done to her little boy, she’d threw away her best family for a wee Scottish rat who didn’t even care and who she didn’t care about in the first place 

“So go on then ness call me all the names under the sun, scream at me, tell me I’m the worst mother in the world”

Vanessa just sat there trying to process everything and it hurt her to think about, she felt like losing her head at Charity she really did but she didn’t want to, well not in the hospital.

“Oh no reply, just like when I called you 10 million fucking times”

“Charity just get some sleep, we both need to be alive when Noah wakes up” 

Vanessa looked over at Charity, she wanted to rip her fucking head off, she’d been crying a lot obviously, but she was still sexy, she really wanted to just jump on her lap and kiss her all over but the anger she had inside her was like a brick wall between them.

Charity looked over at Vanessa, she look really good, she had also cut her hair to her shoulders and it really suited her, she loved this woman she was the over of her life, she just wanted to pick her up and kiss her forever, but that ship had sailed..... 4 months ago.


	11. Family

It had been a long night, and Charity and Vanessa were surviving off coffee and chocolate from the vending machine, Charity thought about going home, and coming back in the morning, but she wanted to be there when he woke up, she would feel terrible if he woke up with no one there. She had managed to sleep about 3 or 4 hours, the chairs weren’t really that comfy, but she was so exhausted she didn’t really care where she slept. 

As for Vanessa she didn’t want to leave Noah alone, but also didn’t want to leave Charity alone, she was still madly in love with her and she doesn’t think that love will ever die, but she just can’t forgive her at the moment. 

“What time is it”Charity says sleepily after just waking up

“7:30” Vanessa says bluntly 

“That’s not to bad for sleeping in the hospital, how long have you been awake”

“Not long, about 15 minutes”

“Sooooooo.... what book you reading” 

“Under the hawthorn tree, I always loved it when I was younger, but I can’t really focus on it at the moment”  
Vanessa sighs 

“I remember you telling me that, oh ness how I wish things would go back to the way they were”

“Well they can’t, cause you decided to suck the face off a randomer”

There was an awkward silence 

“Ness I don’t think you understand how sorry I am”

“Yeah you’ve said a few times”

“No really ness, this break up broke me in half”

“Can we just focus on what important right now Charity, getting Noah better”

“We’re important, aren’t we”

Vanessa didn’t answer 

“Ness”

Vanessa gets up from her seat

“Did he just move” Vanessa said 

“Are you sure, I didn’t see anything”

“No I was holding his hand, I felt it”

Noah moves his hand to his face 

“I’ll go get someone” Vanessa says as she runs out of the room

“Noah,  
Noah darling it’s your mum, can you hear me”

Noah slowly starts to move his head towards Charity and open his eyes

“Hey, babe, can you hear me”

But he just lies there staring at her, making no movements at all, still trying to process his surroundings the only thing Charity can hear is the slow breath of her son

As Vanessa runs in with a doctor in toe

“Hi Noah, I’ve missed you mate”Vanessa says

“If yous could just leave the room for a bit please so I can take the tube out of his throat” the doctor said

“Hiya Noah, can I just take this big old tube out, mate”  
The doctor says


	12. Talks

The doctor was talking to Noah for at least half and hour, but to be honest he didn’t look like he was listening, he kinda looked a bit high, but to be fare he probably was, the amount of drugs he was on it would be a miracle if he wasn’t.

Finally the doctor came out

“How is he” Charity asked

“He’s very weak, but we can now start a road to recovery”

“How long do you reckon that will take” 

“Well it’s really hard to tell as he was brought in, in such a bad state, it will also take time to recover from his extreme weight loss as it would anyone, so he’ll be very weak”

“Sorry, that’s not good enough, he’s been here for nearly 24 hours and you can’t estimate a time” Charity spat at the doctor

“Charity that’s enough, that’s focus on Noah more than starting arguments” Vanessa said

“I’m sorry, I just really really stressed and I haven’t really ate or slept much in the past 24 hours” 

“Don’t worry ms dingle we understand, we are trying to do everything we can at the moment”

“Thank you, can we go in and talk to him now” Vanessa asked”

“Yes, but he’s a bit out of it at the moment so give him time yeah”

“Ok thanks”

Vanessa was about to grab the door as Charity pulled her back 

“Maybe you should stay here for a bit until I talk to him for a bit, I won’t be long, I just want him to be as calm as possible” Charity whispered 

“That’ll be a first” Vanessa snarked clearly a bit pissed that Charity all of a sudden was acting like she didn’t forget Noah a bit aswell 

“Sorry did you say something babe”

“Me no no, you go in and talk to him”

Charity walked into the silent room, she didn’t know what to say, the last they spoke she told him she didn’t give a fuck about him and wished Zoe kept him.

“Hiya mate, how are ya feelin”

There was no answer 

“Noah, Noah please speak to me, I’m really sorry, for everything I said........ and not realising how much you were struggling”

Noah finally gives off a croak

“Shouldn’t you be downing a bottle of vodka right now”

“You know what yeah I would be right now, but I’m not cause I need to be here for you” Charity could barely speak the lump was getting bigger in her throat she could nearly speak, seeing her son so weak and sick all because of her 

“I’ve got a little surprise for you, a special someone came to make sure your ok” Charity grabbed the door giving Vanessa a nod to come in.

“Hiya Noah” Vanessa said while grabbing his hand 

“Vanessa” 

“Yeah babe it’s me, and I need you to get better yeah, your mum was telling me how good you were looking after Moses and her” Vanessa said with tears in her eyes

“Do you think I’ll die ness” Noah was also nearly crying at this point

“No babe, and I don’t want you to ever think about something like that again” it broke Vanessa and charity’s heart that there boy thought he would die, he’s so young and has never really had it easy in life.

“You look at me now Noah, you are not gonna die, ya know why.... cause your a fucking fighter and ya know what, ness and I will be by your side every step of the way” Charity said while grabbing Noah’s other hand.

“I have sommat to tell yous and I’m really really sorry, I really am” Noah croaks 

“Go on babe, whatever it is you can tell us” Vanessa assures 

......

“Well, when ness left I just felt worthless and nothing was really going right for me, it’s like mums way of coping was alcohol, mine was, mine wa-“  
Noah is cut off by Charity 

“I know pet”

“You know what”

“I know about you self harming”

“But how”

“Take a wild guess noah, the doctors came and told me they found cuts all over you”

Noah looked at Charity straight in the eyes and then ness the same, he had a lot of low points in his life, but this was definitely one of the biggest ones, he felt disgusting, like he didn’t really have a purpose but to wait until Charity dingle hit self distruct, he was always the odd one out, the trouble child even if he didn’t do anything, all because of his parents and the fact that nobody really knew him, not properly, not how he felt everyday another person forgot about him, he wasn’t making a life for himself, he was slowly fading out of one, he was done with fading he just wanted to end it.

“I, I, I’m really really sorry” Noah felt that giant lump in his throat, the same one he felt everytime he saw him mum pick up the bottle, but this time it felt bigger, and hurt much more, cause he was hurting so much his whole life just no one ever realised cause all they saw was a moody teenage, when really he was calling out for help, but in his life there is always someone more important than him.

“Noah do you know how serious this is”

“What Charity meant to say is that we will be here to support you”

There is a long silence, can I have a drink

“Yeah babe” Charity grabs the jug of Luke warm water and pours it into a cup

“Here babe”

Noah grabs the cup, his hands are shaking

“Fuck sake, I’m sorry” 

“no don’t worry it’s ok, it’s just a bit of water we can get it cleaned up”

“But it’s spilt everywhere, god I’m such a fucking mess, I can’t do this anymore” Noah screams and his breathe increases 

“Noah calm down it’s ok, your just weak, you’ve lost a lot of weight, you’ve been in intensive care for the past 24 hours and you kidneys are failing” Vanessa tried to calm him down

“No I can’t do it anymore ness I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to be in this world anymore” Noah cries struggling for a breath

“Noah stop, your scaring me” Charity whimpers 

“I’m scaring you, well you’ve been scaring me my whole life”

in a moment of rage Noah grabs the wires and needles stuck in his body and leaps out of bed, only for his legs to give way and fall on the ground.

“Noah omg” ness grabs Noah trying to pick him up 

“Leave me alone, don’t act all innocent cause you left me to just like the rest of them” Noah is screaming at this point.

“Noah let me help you up at least” Vanessa says while grabbing his frail body 

“What’s going on in here” the doctor comes running in

“Get them away from me leave me alone, just every leave me alone” 

“It’s ok Noah, we are going to look after you, we are going to get you all better” the doctor says while helping Noah back into his bed

“I think it’s best if you both leave” the nurse behind him says 

“But I’m his mother he needs me” Charity insists 

“Nurse Giles could you please put the needles back in, while I talk to ms dingle and Woodfield”

Charity and Vanessa walk out, Charity grabs onto Vanessa’s arm, Vanessa feels a sensation she hasn’t felt in a long time, she wants to push Charity off, but she thinks she might collapse if she did, she was shaking like a lost puppy.

“I’m his mother I should be in there” Charity roars down the hospital corridor

“I know your his mother ms dingle but he is not in a good state ok and all this stress isn’t good for him”

“So what do you think I should do”

“To be honest, I think both of you should go home, get a few hours sleep and a shower and let him cool down”

“So your saying just leave him alone” Vanessa buts in 

“Well maybe you could send in someone else he is close with and maybe they could talk to him for a bit”

Charity was hesitant at first 

“I could send Sarah in to talk”

“Yes that would be advisable”

Charity let’s go of Vanessas arm walking out of the hospital 

“Thank you so much for being here, it really means a lot”

“Yeah well I’m here for Noah, he’s my son just as much as he is yours”


	13. I love her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity after the hospital

Charity arrived back at the pub, she was hopeless, there wasn’t any point trying cause he doesn’t want her, and neither does ness, how could anyone love her again, she’s just Charity, the bitch who lives next door, who ruins everything she touches.

“Your back” chas said as she came round the back

“Hello, earth to Charity”

“Look chas just leave me alone yeah”

“What’s up babe, I thought you’d be a bit happier now since he’s woken up”

“Well I’m not ok, he hates me chas, he hates everyone, I mean I’ve seen him upset and messed up before, but I’ve never seen him like this”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ve all spat words we shouldn’t at have at our parents when we were angry”

“No chas, it wasn’t like that, you didn’t see him”

“What happened then, I’ll tell ya what, I’ll make us a brew and you tell me all about it, call me your therapist if ya what”

“A brew”

Charity starts to raise her voice 

“A fucking brew chas, how is a brew gonna help anything, you didn’t see him chas, and let me tell you this a brew will far from help him or me”

“Charity I’m only trying to help”

“Yeah well don’t, did a brew help you when Gracie died”

“ how dare ya, ya stupid cow” chas spits at Charity 

Charity mutters to herself

“I need a fucking drink, oh and tell Sarah to get her skinny white ass to the hospital”

“Charity no, CHARITY”

“What’s all the racket about, I heard shouting” Debbie rushes in 

“Debs she’s grabbing the bottle again, speak to her please cause she isn’t listening to me”

“Why what’s happened, did Noah take another turn or sommat”

“No, I don’t know what’s wrong with her, speak to her love will ya cause I really don’t need a bladdered Charity on my hands at the moment, I better get back to work”  
Chas leaves the room leaving only Debbie and Charity 

“So mum”

“So, what babe your gonna have to be a bit more pacific”

“What happened at the hospital, I thought he’d woken up”

“Yeah, yeah he did Debbie, but there’s a long way to go before he’s better, if he even gets better”

“Do you not think I know that mum, I have went through the same thing as you only with Sarah and you didn’t see me grabbing the bottle every five minutes”

“But ya see Debbie, you and Sarah have always had a good relationship, Sarah wasn’t self harming was she, Sarah didn’t want to die”

“Did he say that, did he say them words to your face”

“No debs, but I could see it in his eyes, he didn’t care, he’s broken debs and it’s all my fault”

“So what did he say, what actually happened, cause I think there is a lot that your not telling me”

“Mum, you can talk to me”

Charity can barely speak never mind think

“He”

“He, went a bit crazy ok”

“Well how do you mean crazy, cause there is a lot of different crazies”

“Debs, this isn’t a joke, he was so weak he couldn’t even hold a cup of water to his face, it obviously really annoyed him and it all came out at once”

“What happened mum your still not telling me what happened” Debbie starting to raise his voice 

Charity was feeling pain now, the same pain when Vanessa left, the same pain when she was with bails, the same pain when she was raped and abused for no reason at all, she must have done something really bad in her last life, cause nobody deserves what she went through

“He....”

“It’s ok mum, you can talk to me”

“He started screaming, and shouting, for everyone to leave him alone, he tried to get out of the bed, but he just fell on the floor, and kept screaming and crying”  
Charity looks at Debbie  
“I’ve broke him haven’t I, I’ve ruined everything”

Debbie grabs her mum and pulls her close, and she feels each tear of her mother’s fall onto her skin

“Let it out mum, let it all out”

“And you should have seen ness, she hates me, she thinks I’m a monster, I really thought she still might love me just that little bit, but she doesn’t, I can see it in her eyes everytime she looks at me, all she see’s is a dirty little slag”

“I think you might be over thinking it a bit mum,”

“I’m not debs, I’m really not”

“Mum, look at me, you and ness may be over, for now, but I know for a fact with you two, the love will never die, I have seen the way yous look at eachother, and all I see is two people who would go to the end of the world for eachother,”

“It’s been four months debs, nearly five now, it’s over”

“Yeah well it will be over if you don’t get your act together,  
Now, I’ve got a question for ya”

Charity sniffs, still holding onto Debbie

“Where is Charity dingle for fuck sake, I haven’t seen her in about five months”

Charity gives a small giggle

“Now get your fucking act together woman, and go get your woman”

“What now babe”

“Well maybe not now, maybe after a good bath and a good nights sleep”

“Wait I need to be there for Noah tho”

“I think it’s best if you let him cool down, I’ll send Samson and Sarah to cheer him up a bit, meanwhile you can sleep and think about what your gonna do to make it up to your son and fiancé”

Charity looked at Debbie 

“So I’m guessing you know everything”

“Yep chas told me”

“Will that woman keep her fucking mouth shut”

“Mum she’s just trying to help, and I’m not impressed with your little stunts,, but your my mum and I want to help you get your little family back, just like you’ve helped me get mine back before”

Charity feels something warm inside her, she hasn’t felt warm in a long time, she knows deep down it’s the feeling of someone caring, cause without someone caring there isn’t much to care about, Charity knows it’s gonna be the hardest thing to get her life back together, but if she gets the happy ending in the end it’s all worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is about how Noah felt talking to charity and Vanessa in the hospital


	14. A black hole in his heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noah’s feelings

He fidgets something awful, when the nurses finally leave and it’s just the three of them again, sat in silence. His mother’s been huddled in the same chair for the past 24 hours now, unmoving except to pace the hallway just beyond the window, her fingers worried into knots.

Vanessa shuffles closer, running her hands down his arms as she settles a hip gently against the end of his bed. She’s not been home, either, it looks like; her hair’s going greasy like it had after her dad died and she’d not done much else but shuffle from bed to the couch and back again for a whole weekend.

It’s comforting, a bit, even though it’s sad.

He tries to picture them, stuffed up on chairs beside his bed, attempting to sleep amidst all the beeping and vitals checks and the steady glow of light from the hallway. It’s been hard enough for him, now the sedation has worn off.

Certainly, he’ll hear about the sacrifice, though. Something his mum will use for ammunition later, when he’s not done as she’d like. You know, I didn’t leave you in hospital, Noah, you could be grateful for that.

He is, for the moment, even if he knows Vanessa’s only here out of a loyalty to his mother and his mother’s only here for… Well, he’s not really sure why. An impression, maybe; proving to someone that she can be caring and thoughtful and a good mum, so she can get back together.

Not that it’s been much of a priority, lately, though.

The anger pricks again, then, the hurt welling up where he’d tried so hard to squash it down. The cuts had made it quiet for a bit, bearable, almost, to feel like there weren’t a soul in the world who cared about him.

They’ve made a real good show of it now, when he’s laid in hospital and the doctors have all those worry lines etched into their faces.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Vanessa asks uselessly, her eyes soft like they are when she looks at his mum sometimes. Like she cares so much it’s going to seep right out her face.

He grunts, twisting his head away from the exchange he knows will follow. Always talking without words, they are, always deciding something between themselves with the lift of an eyebrow or a tilt of the chin. He doesn’t want to see it – not today, not when everything still feels fresh and raw.

“Why did you do it babe, why did you cut yourself , Noah?” his mum whispers.

You, he wants to yell, but the words clogs up in his throat. Because she’d been right, really, he was just a big fucking mistake, extra baggage some would say. 

And his mum needs Vanessa, of that much he’s sure.

“We’re not mad, Noah,” Vanessa offers, a hand settling on his ankle where it squeezes gently.

“We’re not,” she repeats, “We just want to know what happened so we can help you.”

“No, you don’t,” he manages, choking on the words. It’s because they’d had a tube down his throat and it still hurts something fierce, he tells himself, not because it feels like there are tears pushing incessantly against the backs of his eyes and a sob brewing in the center of his chest.

He cries now, sometimes, when no one’s home and he’s sure he won’t be caught. There’s lots to cry about when he lets his mind wander just a bit and all the things that feel wrong start spiralling back into the places he’s tried so hard to push them out of. Joe and Sarah and Moses and ness and his mum and all the things he can worry about but never fix.

He won’t cry in front of them, though; he can’t.

“We do, Noah,” Vanessa insists, settling more of her weight on the end of the bed. He could kick her off, he thinks – would, even, if today was a year ago and she were trying to weasel her way into something that should just be him and his mum. It’s never just him and his mum anymore, though, and it’s hasn’t been for years.

Never just him and anyone.

He shakes his head, trying to will away the tears that well up in his eyes. 

“You won’t help,” tumbles out on the edge of a hiccup, his shoulders heaving as it all starts to escape. He squeezes his eyes shut, pleading with himself to stop.

But then Vanessa’s hand is stroking his calf and his mother’s fingers are in his hair and it’s worse, somehow, to even imagine that they could care. That anyone at all could care about him even the tiniest bit.

His mother presses kisses to his temple, though, and murmurs something he can’t quite hear over the hitching of his own breath but that sounds an awful lot like scared. And he’s been scared, too; terrified for months on end, so he leans into her touch.

She swipes her thumb across his cheek, collecting tears, and it feels like he’s six again.

He wants to tell her, then, he wants to spill all his feelings,  
Only, it all jams up and his throat goes tight and it just makes him squeeze his eyes shut harder.

“We love you, Noah,” Vanessa swears, like that’s not a ticking bomb. Like she can’t see the detonation wire laid across the floor, ready to make everything explode.

Like it might just feel good instead.

“Stop it,” he begs – to himself or to them or to everything.

And it works, for a moment, because everything goes still again. Not dark and frozen and quiet, like it had been before he woke up, but his mother’s hands stop moving and Vanessa’s lift off his leg and the next sob that pushes up into his throat gets swallowed down before it can break loose.

It’s enough, for a second, to feel a little bit of control.

“Can I have a drink”

He watches carefully as his mum pours the liquid into the cup, he’s weak and fragile, he’s not sure if he could even lift his arm never mind a cup.  
He tries to hold it with all his might, but he just feels useless, shaky, but he can’t be he’s not allowed, he has to be there for Moses for his mum, he feels the surface of the polystyrene cup slip through his finger, the water fall all over him, the anger starts to boil, it’s not fair, what did he ever do only try an help, but no one was helping him, they were simply just sitting there looking at him.

He feels vanessas eyes looking at him in pity

“It’s alright I can clean it up”

“No,” Noah feels his face hot the tears flow down 

“Leave me alone”

“Noah really it’s ok it’s just some water”

The rage flows right through him, he doesn’t know where it’s coming from, but he feels it deep down 

“I said LEAVE ME ALONE”

In a fit of rage he grabs the needles, wires anything that was stuck into his flesh and yanked it out, he felt the sharp pain and saw the bits of blood on the Crystal white hospital sheets.

“Noah, babe calm down, everything will be ok, we are just trying to help” he heard his mum muffle

Everything was muffled, the anger was blocking everything out 

He wasn’t thinking straight though so he grabbed the sides of the bed, he thought he was strong enough he really did, no matter how many times beat him down he still tried to get up again, but this time  
This time  
He just fell, on the cold ground, he didn’t have the energy the patience, so he just lay there,  
He couldn’t hold in his feeling anymore, so he just let them all out, by letting the hot steamy tears flow out, he just wanted to be alone gone and not here in this world

“GET OUT PLEASE JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE”  
He screamed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be about how ness felt


	15. Your like a brother to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah loves Noah, theyve been like siblings since forever, he’s always been there for her, now she’s gonna do the same for him

Sarah gets the bus to hotten general, she was gonna bring Samson but Noah had just wanted her, she hasn’t seen him in months and she never realised how much she would miss him, he’d always just been there if she needed him she only really had to go to the pub or jacobs fold, but she never really looked at him as an uncle, more a brother, or bestfriend, I mean they fought like siblings and cared about eachother like siblings 

As she walked down the long hospital corridors, she felt her heart ache, she felt deep down it was all her fault, if she hadn’t got involved with Danny, then none of this would of ever happened, he wouldn’t have taken the drugs in the first place. 

“I’m here to see Noah dingle” Sarah said to the receptionist on ward 7 

“Someone’s popular today, are you his girlfriend” the receptionist joked 

“What no, I’m his niece” Sarah said 

The receptionist looked at her in disbelief and laughed 

“But to be honest he’s more like my brother” Sarah answered quickly before things got any weirder

“Alrighty looks like he was looking for you cause your name is first on the list, could you just sign here for me please” the receptionist said as she handed Sarah the clipboard 

“How has he been, mum said he had a bit of a melt down”

The receptionist looked at Sarah 

“Look I don’t really know much, but by the sounds of it he’s not in a good place right now, but if you could get him to talk and speak about feelings, it might help a lot, I’m sure the doctor will talk to you about how to deal with him before you go in anyway” the receptionist said 

Sarah walked walked into room 9, she saw Noah in the bed, with a nurse around him, he looked a lot different, compared to a couple months ago, he was frail, all the colour was drained from his face, and for once his hair was untamed and the curls were let go wild.

“Hiya” Sarah spoke nervously

The nurse turned around 

“Are you Sarah”

“Yes”

“Would you mind if I spoke to you for a bit”

The nurse brought Sarah just outside Noah’s room

She looked at Sarah 

“Gran said he was looking for me” Sarah said gently 

“Yes he was, look he’s just not in a good way at all, mentally or physically”

“What do you mean mentally”

“Well Noah obviously has his problems, and it looks like he has been self harming to cope with them, we originally thought that having his mum there might help him speak more about it, but that didn’t help him at all and it took quite a while for him to calm down, and the problem is as Noah is 16 he is entitled to give his own consent”

“Wait so what’s the problem, you want me to speak to him” Sarah asks

“At the moment Noah doesn’t care if he lives or dies and is refusing to give consent to the treatment we are offering, we need you to talk to him, about his feelings, and also about nice things, be gentle with him and don’t mention anything about his kidneys, just sit there and talk about him, be natural and just act like you would if yous were at home ” the nurse said as she walked away 

It was hard for Sarah, but it was also different, she’s always been the one lying in the hospital bed and someone else worrying over her, she always thought it would be so much easier being the person that isn’t sick, but it’s a lot harder than you’d think, knowing the person you love is dying.

“Hiya, I brought you a hospital survival kit, I’ve got, joggers, hoodies, blankets, movies, fruit, drinks, I’ve even brought your art things and my switch so we can play games together”

Noah just looks at her, she gets a faint smirk, but not much

“Yeah well anything to get me out of this hospital gown” he croaks 

“How’ve you been”

“How tf do you think Sarah”

She hesitates and plays with her hair 

“Yeah I know stupid question” 

It all goes silent, she’s never felt so awkward around him in her life, it’s like he’s not there, but he is, so she just sits there pretending to watch the crappy tv, while he just doses in and out of sleeping.

About 20 minutes later the silence is broken 

“Well” Noah says scaring the life out of Sarah as she was heavily in bedded in an episode of a the goldbergs 

“Jesus Christ, you scared the shit outta me, what” she laughed trying to act as normal as possible

Noah stared at her for a bit almost like he forgot what he was gonna say 

“What was mum like, ya know when she got home from the hospital” 

“She was a mess, she was torn over you, and Vanessa, she was about to grab a bottle again but mum saved the day” Sarah said 

“Yeah cause everything’s still about her” Noah says 

“No noah she was really upset”

“She’s only upset for herself, it’s the way it’s always been, and once again it took me to almost die for her to notice I’m here”

Sarah looks at him, she can see the tears and hurt in his eyes, she knows gran hasn’t really always been there for him and to be honest she doesn’t really know what it’s like to be forgotten, cause she’s always been her mums number one priority, but she could see that her gran felt terrible.

“Why did you do it” Sarah asks

“Do what, exist” Noah replies 

It hurts her, but at least she knows it’s still Noah being his own mouthy self when he’s pissed or sad 

“You know what I mean..... cut yourself”

There is a long pause, she really regrets bringing it up, she should have just stuck to basic chat but of course she had to take it to another level.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said” 

Noah cuts in

“I don’t know”

Sarah’s surprised, could this be progress 

He hesitates not knowing if he can trust anyone with his feelings 

“I guess I just thought it would block things out, I just couldn’t take it anymore, I just felt so worthless, alone, sad, all I’ll ever be in life is a disaster, a disappointment,I mean I’m a Tate and a dingle, I’ve been fucked from day 1”

Sarah wipes the tears from his face 

“No noah you are not worthless, you are like my brother and I could never lose you, or you know what I’d be worthless”

Sarah felt the boiling water in her eyes trickle down her face 

“Do you hear me Noah Dingle, you are one of the most important people in my life, as you are mums, grans and more people than you think, you came to see me everyday when I was in hospital, even if you were having a shit day, you might not have seen it, but that 30 mins made all the difference to my day”

Noah just stares at Sarah

“I just cant deal with any more rejection, I’m just not as strong, brave or important as you, mum or Debbie” Noah croaks, she can nearly feel the lump in Noah’s throat in her own and it hurts her even more 

“Are you kidding me, your one of the strongest people I know, ok you might also be one of the moodiest people I know,” Sarah giggles through the tears as does Noah

“And I’m not gonna lose you, cause of some stupid kidneys, I’d give mine if I could”

“I don’t want new kidneys” Noah cries to her 

“Look at me Noah, look at me, I only have estimated 10 years left to live, and you know what, I wanna live them out with you, mum, gran, granny and all my family around me,”

“I’m sorry” he whispers to her as he breaks down, she knows he wants to hugs her but he doesn’t have the energy, he’s been broken down again and again, but this time he’s reached his limit 

She grabs him into a hug, and holds him close, he feels so thin in her arms but he gradually holds her as hard as he possibly can.

“This isn’t coming from your niece, this is coming from your sister, your best friend, I need you, everyone does and nobody is gonna let you go, I will always be here for you and you never forget that” Sarah cries as her heart beats just that little bit faster

“Please Noah, please, I’m begging you, I can’t lose you too”  
Just as she’s saying that a doctor walks in, 

“I hate to disturb, but he really needs to rest, but if you put your name down on the list on your way out you can come back tomorrow” 

Sarah gets up and goes in for another hug, she doesn’t really want to leave him, she used to hate the time of the day when everyone had to go home, but maybe it’s different for him, maybe he needs the head space 

“ I’ll see you tomorrow yeah” she says

“Yeah” Noah replies 

“Just think about what I said”

“I will” Noah says as she walks out the door 

Her clothes are practically soaking after all that, but she can’t help but think she might have changed his mind and it makes her smile a bit.


	16. For him

Charity, didn’t sleep very well that night, tossing and turning, she felt a deep pit inside her, that was normally filled with alcohol, all she wanted was a sip, just to fill the void she felt inside. 

Everything was spinning in her head, she couldn’t think straight, she could never think straight anymore, she wondered to herself, if maybe Vanessa was lying in bed the same as her right now, feeling the same, if only she was still her tiny little rocket woman, they could go through this awful thing together, being at Noah’s side, not as enemies but as his mother’s. 

She lay there curled in the blanket Noah had gotten her for Mother’s Day last year, she remembers Noah looking through the door way in his boxers and an old t-shirt as he watches the little ones give their cards and presents to their mums. He’d gotten it for both his mums, it had photos of their little family all over it. The way he looked at Vanessa like she hung on the moon. 

But thinking back made her cry harder, it made her think of the difference a year made, now their little family is broken, fallen apart and she doesn’t think she’ll ever get them back.

———-

Vanessa lay there in bed staring at the moon with Johnny curled in her arms. She planned to bring him to see Noah tomorrow, in the morning so she’ll probably dodge Charity, she didn’t really know how to tell him, but she decided to tell him during breakfast tomorrow, while he gorges on pancakes and Nutella. She had asked chas if she should bring Moses too, but he was still at Ross’ and he was meant to be bringing him home around lunchtime tomorrow. God how she missed her little family, her kids being happy and having someone she thought would never leave her.

She lay there listening to Johnny’s steady breathe wondering if Charity was thinking about her too, she’d never felt so awkward with her, and it broker her in two, she loved that woman with her whole heart, but the trust was broken, and her anger took over the love and blocked it out.

——————

Morning came soon enough, Vanessa woke up with Johnny jumping on her side, 

“PANCAKES, PANCAKES” he shouted 

Probably wasn’t the best idea to promise a small child pancakes if he went to bed early, but it got him down, like Charity used to say, bribery is the best option 

“Okay, okay, calm down Johnny”

“Can I see mummy Charity, Mos and Noah today, please mummy please”

Vanessa felt like someone had just dropped a brick through her, she felt the same lump in her throat that she’s felt for the past 6 months and it grew bigger by the day.

“Maybe now mummy Charity, but your gonna she mos later on, and yous are gonna have a little sleepover, but before that your gonna see Noah”

She saw the smile grow on his little face, she didn’t realise how excited one little child could get.

“Me and Moz are gonna place with hot wheels and we are gonna be super hero’s”

“Yeah, yes and yous are gonna make tents downstairs and sleep in them tonight”

Johnny jumped higher and higher on the bed

“And Noah’s gonna show me his new paintings and drawings and we are gonna play football with Moses, then we can play monopoly with Sarah aswell”

Vanessa looked at Johnny, she didn’t know what to say, I mean how do you tell a 5 year old that their brother is dying.

“Johnny can you sit down for a second”

Johnny plops down in the bed 

“You see the thing is, Noah is very poorly and is in hospital”

Johnny looks at her in his innocent childly way

“Like that Christmas time, when we had Christmas and Noah lay in bed all day”

She smiled a bit at Johnny, he’s such a good child and she’s lucky to have him all of her children are, but she’ll never let Johnny or Moses go through what Noah went through.

“Yeah, yes exactly like that, only he’s a lot sicker this time and it will take him a bit longer to get better this time, and you have to be gentle, you won’t be able to jump on him or anything”

“But Noah always plays with me, and tickles me”

“Yeah but when Noah’s better, you can play with him all you want”

It was hard for Vanessa to say that, cause she didn’t know for sure he was gonna get better, nobody did.

—————

Back at the woolpack Charity is sat on the sofa with a cuppa still wrapped in her blanket.

“You alright gran” Sarah said as she walked in through the back

Charity snaps out of her gaze and looks Sarah

“How did it go yesterday”

“Yeah better than I thought it would to be honest, I think he kinda came round a bit”

“What really, why what did he say, did you get him to sign the papers”

“Well he’s really broken gran, he’s really struggling, but I do think I kinda changed his mind”

Charity felt the hot tears in her eyes, she always knew Noah and Sarah were really close, and it made her happy, that he was at least talking to one person.

“Come here” Charity opened her arms and Sarah fell into them, god it felt so good to hug someone, she held Sarah tight, she never wanted to let go.

“Thank you” Charity whispered into Sarah’s ear as she gave her a light kiss on the cheek 

“Well he’s like my brother and I love him more than anything” Sarah said as they looked at eachother and smiled 

————

Vanessa walked briskly down the hospital corridors with Johnny in tow

“Right Johnny remember what I said, be gentle and give Noah a big hug when you go in cause he’s having a tough time”

“Yes mummy, I also put extra red paint on his card cause I knew red is his favourite colour and I also give him my red hotwheels car, do you think Noah will like it”

Vanessa smiled at Johnny’s card, he spent a whole hour on it and wouldn’t let them leave the house until he’d finished

“I’m sure he’ll love them” Vanessa said as she walked up to reception 

“Hi I’m Vanessa woodfield her to see Noah dingle” she smiled 

“Ah yes you were here yesterday”

“Yeah, how is he today”

“Yeah well he’s a lot calmer, especially after that wee lassie came in and spoke to him, and he’s in a much better mood now that, that lad is in with him now, he’s been there since 9:30 this morning”

“Okay thanks very much, is he still in the same room”

The lady nods at Vanessa with a smile

Vanessa knows that Sarah was in but she was confused who the other lad was, maybe it was Samson, but she saw him in the shop this morning and that was after 11

“Which room is Noah in” Johnny coos at her 

“Just this one here” Vanessa says as she walks up to the door, although she thought it weird all the blinds where closed but he probably just wanted some privacy, 

She grabs the door anyway, her heart is thumping, she doesn’t want to make things worse after yesterday, but she needs to talk to him. 

She lets Johnny Walk in first, but when she walks in she lays her eyes on Noah, who’s laying in bed asleep wrapped in the arms of another boy who’s playing with his blonde curly hair which is untamed, while closely laying next to him

She meets eyes with the boy, unlike Noah he’s got straight brown hair and blue eyes, he’s a lot musclier than Noah, but he looks quite a bit shorter.

The boy looks at her, he looks surprised and shifty but doesn’t move in fear of waking up Noah.

“Hiya” Vanessa says 

“Hi” the boy says shiftly 

She hesitates, she knows exactly what’s going on here but she asks anyway

“Are you,... And Noah..... together”

There is along silence, before Johnny breaks it running over to the bed 

“NOAAHH” he shouts as Noah wakes up 

.......

“Ness I wasn’t expecting you” he says obviously nervous 

“Yeah well I just thought I’d come and see you before your mum came” 

Both the boys look at eachother 

“Well she’s here now and has seen it, and anyway she’s gay too” the boy says as he looks at Noah, obviously a lot more confident than Noah was

Noah looked at Vanessa who was grinning like an idiot, she was happy Noah found someone who made him happy, but she was also happy that Noah had talked about her to whoever this lad was.

“Ness... we are together, this, this is my boyfriend, Micheal” Vanessa saw a small smile appear in Noah’s face as he looked at Micheal, obviously proud with himself

“Well, I’ve gotta say I wasn’t expecting that, but I’m very happy for yous”

Micheal kisses Noah’s forehead gently 

“I’ll have to go, my parents will be wondering where I am“ he says as he gently gets out of the bed, laying Noah’s head on the pillow

Once Micheal had left the room Vanessa looked back at Noah, she smiled happy that Noah could be who he really was at such a young age, if she could have done that when she was his age, she would have been a very happy teenager 

“He seems nice”

Noah gives a slight smile, “yeah he is”

“It’s good to see a bit of a smile on your face again, I heard that Sarah made some progress with you”

“We talked a bit” Noah said 

“So let me see this signed paper”

Noah’s face falls, he just looks at her as if he’s saying he’s sorry through this eyes 

“You didn’t sign it did you” vanessa’s face falls and her eyes go glassy 

“I’m sorry ness” Noah whispers 

“NOAH, Noah, I MADE YOU A CARD” Johnny shouts while holding out the card as Noah slowly sits up obviously causing his a lot of pain in the process.

She watches Noah’s face completely change into a smile just for Johnny

“Wow, this is amazing mate, your a little artist in the making you are” Noah says as Johnny sits on the bed beside him 

“I wanna be just like you when I grow up, Moses does too, he wants to be a footballer like you and I wanna be an artist like you” Johnny smiles 

“Well I don’t know mate, I don’t think I’m as good at football as Moses, or as good as art as yous are, I’d say yous are much better than me”

Vanessa watches Johnny’s face glow up

“ really” 

“Yeah, god yous are way better than me” Noah gives of a strained laugh as any little movement causes him pain

Johnny looks at Noah like he hangs on the moon, vanessas glad he never forgot about him even if they have been away for along time.

“I also brought you my red car, it’s my magic car of good luck” Johnny smiles as he holds it out to Noah, cradling it in both hands like it’s a diamond

Noah picks up the small red car and smiles 

“Thank you johnnybobs” he says as he grabs him into a hug, 

“Just remember that I always love you” Noah says as Vanessa sees the tears in his eyes, she knows he’s saying that cause he’s gonna die, and she feels the tears roll down her soft skin

“Noah, your gonna sign those papers yeah” she walks over and puts her hands on his shoulders

“What papers” Johnny bleats 

“Not in front of him ness, I’ll talk about it another time”

Vanessa gives off a quiet ok, she knows if she goes any louder she’ll break down in tears 

“Come on Johnny, let’s go, Noah needs to rest he’ll have more visitors later”

“Noooo, I don’t want to go, I want to stay with Noah” Johnny pouts in a huff 

“Come on Johnny, Noah will still be here tomorrow, you can see him then, who knows Moses might come too”

“Noooo, please mummy just a bit longer”

“Johnny woodfield, I am not repeating myself again” Vanessa clicks her fingers as he finally climbs out of the hospital bed.

“Bye, Noah” Johnny says waving as he walks over to Vanessa 

“Bye mate” Noah waves back

he looks up at ness as she gives him a gentle kiss on his forehead

“Love you” she whispers, but Noah stays silent, she can see the tears more visible now as they fall down his paper white face 

Vanessa slowly walks over to the door in silence when she hears Noah

“Ness”

She looks back at him

“I love you too” he gives her a faint smile and she smiles back as her and Johnny leave the room.


End file.
